i want to cross...

.... the threshold, the elusive , invisible line...... that will mean back to myself...to what i am, the original...pure...absolute...not measuring..not comparing...nothing relative exists...no time exists.....everything is started and done..finished........struggling , fighting , falling back, getting up, going in the wrong direction....realizing and still struggling.....to reach , recognize and cross the threshold ...once and for all.....
And the struggle continues......

in a daze.......

......dont know what i am doing....i am escaping ...... whiling away the precious resource in which things can be completed....things which are just getting piled up.......piled up since days..months....what a situation ! Oh...i keep deciding from today ...no from tomorrow...not the present moment.
Strange situation......sinking deeper into the quagmire....pretending that i am not.....must break this ..... now.....or else.....i am nowhere ..... nowhere in this sea of humanity. Already fallen to mediocrity.....and continuation of this behavior certainly portends a position lower than that..... break it from today..now..this moment....lets do it...and rise...rise to where i belong.....above the mundane.....above the struggling, toiling, miserable human existence.

vidhAta talapuna (విధాత తలపున)....

times more turbulent than ever.....walking on a sword....a situation unimaginable before...... entering the do or die phase...
shutting out thoughts.....trying for a 'break'......at God's door in a few hours.....

vidhAta talapuna pravahiMchinadi...anAdi jeevana naadaM......
(విధాత తలపున ప్రవహించినది ....అనాది జీవన నాదం...)